Colonel William A. Phillips

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:John Albion Andrew/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mr rnddude (talk · contribs) 13:41, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Hi there, I will be taking on this review as well, expect a full review to be up by tomorrow. Mr rnddude (talk) 13:41, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. All of the prose issues noted below have been rectified.
  • Lede
  • "famed 54th Massachusetts Infantry" <- famed according to whom? it it slight puffery is it not. I do recognize however that this is the unit whose legacy includes the film "Glory (1989)" one of my personal favourites. Objectively puffery, subjectively accurate.
I have removed "famed". Magic♪piano 20:56, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was a radical abolitionist from an early date", you mean age? or do you mean relatively early on as compared to other abolitionists? -> was a radical abolitionist from an early age.
  • "In 1865 he signed legislation established the Massachusetts State Police" -> In 1865 he signed legislation that established the Massachusetts State Police.
  • Early Life and Career
  • "He was introduced to early abolitionist writings of William Lloyd Garrison and others." is a sentence fragment, where was he introduced to these writings, at college, at his church, at home?
  • Antislaverly legal and political advocate -> Anti-slavery legal and political advocate
  • "(Banks sought to put off the announcement of his retirement until the last possible moment, but state Republican chairman William Claflin leaked the news to Andrew supporters.)", Shouldn't be in brackets.
  • War Governor of Massachusetts
  • "in the drive to declare and end to slavery" -> in the drive to declare an end to slavery.
  • "Andrew was elected with support from a large and primarily populist base of support." -> remove on of the "support" -> Andrew was elected with support from a large and primarily populist base.
  • "and was poorly enforced, particularly in Boston." -> and which had been poorly enforced, particularly in Boston.
  • Post-war career
  • No issues with prose in this section.
  • Honors and Memorials
  • No issues with prose in this section.

These are taken care of now. Magic♪piano 19:24, 6 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. The article is broken up into sections, the lead section neatly summarizes the article and the general layout of the article is appropriate. There are practically no issues with words to watch. The article is not about a fictional topic and thus not subject to the fiction part of MOS and the lack of lists in the article has a similar effect regarding the list part of MOS.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. The issues with the format of a few of the sources has been rectified.


Minor issues;

  • Citation 66; "Sammarco, Anthony (May 12, 1995). "Andrew Square named after abolitionist "War Governor" John Andrew" (PDF). Dorchester Community News. Retrieved 2016-03-18." should be consistent with the rest of the citations, i.e. Sammarco, p. 1
  • Citation 69; "Watson, Wilbur H (1999). Against the Odds: Blacks in the Profession of Medicine in the United States. New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Publishers. p. 68. ISBN 978-0-585-32416-6. OCLC 45843812." consistency again, i.e. Watson, p. 68
  • Both Sammarco and Watson should be included in the references section, the formatting currently used in the citations should be transferred to the references.
  • Other citations to websites in this fashion are fine, as they have no clear author.

I have fixed these. Magic♪piano 20:56, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). The article makes a combined use of both secondary and primary sources for it's claims. I will note that there is a relatively strong reliance on the primary source Pearson which makes up 26/80+ (including a's, b's and c's etc) total citations, I estimate that about 38/80+ citations are to primary sources.
2c. it contains no original research. After accessing the linked sources and a couple I had managed to get access to via google books preview, I am reasonably confident that no WP:OR issues exist in this article.
2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. Earwig's copyvio detector rates it unlikely that any copyvio's are present in this article with a 7.4% confidence. I will be looking at a couple of the source to confirm that copyvio's are indeed unlikely. After looking at the linked sources as well as Bay Weekly, Earle and Miller and not finding any copyright violation related issues I am prepared to pass this article for this section.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. I have look at several of the sources provided and used within the article and haven't found any lack of depth of coverage for this subject.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Article is clearly focused on its subject matter, it doesn't stray off-topic to start other unnecessary discussions and it doesn't delve into inappropriate minutia details.
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. The article has a completely neutral tone and balances between sources quite well. There aren't any opposing views being presented, that's not to say there are none (nor that there are), merely a note of the clean agreement between the used sources (of which there are 17 distinct ones that are mostly secondary).
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. The article is in a stable condition with no on-going edit-wars and no unresolved/outstanding content or other disputes on the talk page.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. All five of the images in the article are tagged with the appropriate licenses, mostly PD with on CC-by-SA 2.0 ShareAlike.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. All of the images now have suitable captions.


A couple issues;

  • The first image, in the infobox, should have a caption.
  • File:Johnaandrew-governorelectionticket-historical.png; "An historical election poster promoting Andrew for governor" -> A historical election poster promoting Andrew for governor

I have taken care of these. Magic♪piano 20:56, 5 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

7. Overall assessment. Minor issues that should be addressed. My concerns have been satisfactorily addressed, passes GA.

As always I will be using the above table to complete my review. Mr rnddude (talk) 13:41, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Magicpiano I have completed my initial review of the article you have nominated. I have a few minor concerns which are listed in the above table for you to address. Another article about a topic I am not generally interested in that has been enjoyable to read. Thank you for your efforts in bringing these articles about Massachusetts' politicians to this level. As always, if you need any assistance feel free to ping me. Mr rnddude (talk) 15:15, 3 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I think everything is taken care of. Thanks again for reviewing my article, and stay tuned for more Massachusetts politicians (although some of the upcoming batch are not much more interesting than Mr. Bullock...) Magic♪piano 19:24, 6 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:John_Albion_Andrew